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Thich Nhat Hanh
In the aged care home where I've volunteered the past few years, there's a butterfly wall. Butterfly replicas are pinned on the board for every resident who dies. Below the butterfly board sits a framed quote:
"The caterpillar dies so the butterfly could be born.
And yet, the caterpillar lives in the butterfly and they are but one.
So, when I die,
it will be that I have been transformed
from the caterpillar of earth to the butterfly of the universe."
- John Harricharan
Because you will read about dying and death on this website, I wanted to start with that quote.
Because, if you know that you will face death soon or a loved one will, I want you to know that you are safe. Your loved one is safe.
I say that because of the natural transformation that happens as our physical bodies die and our deeper levels of being merge with the nature from which we emerged at birth.
Just as the caterpillar and butterfly are merged.
Dying and death are a normal part of life. We face many deaths over the course of our life, and eventually our own. Just as our death won't be the same as another, neither will be our reaction to the news that we are dying.
I'm no different from you and the many others you have known now gone. I dont know what my death will be like, nor how I will respond as I approach dying.
What I hope for when my time comes to die is the compassionate companionship of another who understands.
This is what I offer those ageing, sick and dying who I companion over what could be just days, or weeks, or months, or years. My presence, my awareness, as someone who is in the boat with you. The spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, has famously said:
"We're all just walking each other home."
Home is not somewhere to arrive. It's here now on the walk.
It's about enjoying our walk, with our attention fully in this moment of togetherness, not about where we are going.
Frank Ostaseski is a pioneer in end-of-life care. Frank describes 'compassion' as 'suffering with others' - implying the inherent sense of intimacy and connectedness and belonging. 'Companion', he says, is 'the one who travels with another'.
I travel with you and your loved ones. The compassion and wisdom of our connection will ease the suffering and anguish of ageing, sickness, dying and grief.
Just as the caterpillar and butterfly abide within each other as whole, so are you whole , so am I whole. As I serve you in compassionate companionship, I see you as whole, not as someone weak nor someone broken. Your suffering and your joy are my suffering and my joy.
In that way, I come with an open heart and undivided mind to be present with you and see what you need, how I may serve you.
Suzanne Beveridge is growing older as a Dharma practitioner, meditator, spiritual companion and midwife to the dying - also known as an end-of-life doula or death doula - mentor and professional life coach. In addition, Suzanne works as a volunteer companion and pastoral care professional in aged care, visiting with residents who are infirm and nearing the end of their lives.
She offers compassionate companionship to those ageing, sick and dying - calling on her own life experience, deep listening and tender curiosity, as well as her spiritual practice and study.
Suzanne is trained in the art of caring for the dying through completion of the Midwifing Death programme from the Australian palliative care physician Dr Michael Barbato. She also completed the CareSearch programme Dying2Learn. She studied and completed the Understanding Dementia, Preventing Dementia and Trauamtic Brain Injury courses offered by the Wicking Dementia Research and Education Centre of the University of Tasmania. Suzanne completed the Introductory Program of Clinical Pastoral Education, offered by the Mental Health Clinical Pastoral Education Centre.Additionally, suzanne has completed a Certificate III in individual Support. She is a member of the National Death Advocacy Network and the End-of-Life Doula Directory.
Suzanne is certified as a professional life and leadership coach by iPEC Coaching.
Before returning to Australia in 2019, Suzanne owned and operated leadership and life coaching businesses in Europe. Her earlier careers were in medical science, biopharmaceuticals and corporate communications. She holds the qualifications of Bachelor of Applied Science (QUT) and Master of Business (UTS).
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